No, Martha, I don’t want to make Curried Chicken Salad for my beach party: with two cups of mayonnaise and blistering sun, I could become Botulism Bertha, a worse menace than Typhoid Mary!
Nor do I want to make Belt Buckle Frames or get my hands all purpled with cute pastry cutter molds to produce Batik Table Linens that have smudged thumbprints in the blotches.
To choose not to “Take Something Grand – “Awesome in scope, Bold in character and Fragile in nature” and “Before allergies change my life” I’ll avoid those Killer Pecan Sticky Buns and Ricotta- Squash Gnocchi drizzled with Smokey Pickled Corn.
And excuse me for questioning the contents of some of the advertisements you print,
but frankly, Martha, if IT “showed any more leg, WE wouldn’t “be breaking the law!” – It’s a reshaped Lazy-boy recliner, for God’s sake! Not Marlene Dietrich, a Playboy Bunny or even an underage little sexpot.
“Herbed goat cheese spread” will no doubt not cause even me “to respect yourself in the morning,” and what that stale breakfast bar on page fifty-seven has to do with the matter of Self-respect is even more dubious.
It screams unpretentious, Martha, except for all those little household hints, never mentioned on those slick pages, like Insider Trading, for example.
So tell me, Martha, just what IS the hint of the month this time?